Ernest Hemingway—one of the United States’ most important heroes and an author—once said that if you want to be a writer, you need a built-in, shock-proof bullshit detector. If you are wanting to hear justifications for the existence of Aliens, Bigfoot, the spontaneous combustion of Robin Williams and other dead celebrities, or the purported “rebirth” of Tutankhamen in our age, then this audio recording is not for you. If you want to hear bullshit on cloning and genetics and the likelihood your five-year-old will in all likelihood lock you up and throw away the key—then this contribution to bullshit detecting, separating shit from soup, is for you. Forthcoming to ABH Illustration.